How To Deal With Lack Of Support From People Closest To You

Support is integral in our success journey. But what's one supposed to do when they don't get support? It is one thing when outsiders don't give a hoot or a holler about you, but what do you do when you lack support from the people closest to you?

As humans, we crave affirmations from our family and friends. It is the words of encouragement from our loved ones that push us on, even when the world is against us. It is the voices of cheering family and friends on the stands that inspire a child to rise after being knocked down on a football pitch. 

You require seven principles to help you deal with a lack of support from loved ones. These principles are talk, thoughts, truths, tact, transformation, temperament, and training.

Talk

When there is deafening silence from your loved ones, what do you tell yourself? No human being ever silent. We are always talking to ourselves, either audibly or inside ourselves. 

If you ask super-successful who achieved great things, despite lacking support from other people, they will often tell you that one of the things that spurred them on was "internal dialogue." They will tell you how they talked to themselves and how they chose their vocabulary. They will tell how they affirm themselves. 

If your folks are all about the negative talk, you must turn a deaf ear or be bold enough to tell them to stop. Or, you can be like me; I plug on my earphones, turn on some uplifting, inspirational music or podcast, crank on the volume, and feed my mind positive vibes. 

Talk ain't cheap. You can talk yourself to success or failure, just the same way other people or outside influences can. 

Read More: 10 Strategies to Help You Get Your First Coaching Client

Thoughts

Our thoughts shape us. The Bible says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. If you lack support from folks who are near and dear, seek the support of your thoughts. 

When there is no one to root for you, harness the power of visualization to push you through and make you actualize. See who you want to be. Perceive the outcome, then work your butt off towards it. 

Constantly letting your thoughts dwell on a lack of support can weigh you down. Watch out that this doesn't happen. There will be instances you will be forced to change debilitating and limiting thoughts about yourself. The good thing about ideas is that you have the power to shape them. Use that power and propel yourself forward. 

Here's the whole truth and nothing but; you either win or lose a battle in mind before it happens in actual life. 

Truths

Truth hurts. To change your station or situation, you will be forced to confront some cold hard facts about yourself and your capabilities. It's only after accepting such truths that you can make meaningful and long-lasting changes. 

Ask yourself tough questions. Why don't my loved ones want to support me? Are there things I need to change for them to help me? Are there truths that those near and dear to me are trying to tell me but I don't want to hear? Do I need to temporarily separate myself from my folks so that I can work on myself? 

Though truth hurts, it is also liberating. There is no worse slavery than living a lie, especially when you are striving to change your lot in life. If you can bravely deal with truths, however hurting or humiliating they are, you will be in a better position to - when outside support fails to come through for you - grow your internal support system. 

Tact

When you lack support from folks closest to you, you must have tact. And I mean diplomacy because you know how to do your business without appearing cocky. You must have discretion when requesting support to avoid appearing too needy or whiney. 

Let's face it. However endowed we are, we cannot always do everything by ourselves. Human beings are social creatures. To prosper during this temporal experience called life, we require other people's resources. Knowing how to ask for help - without actually asking for help - is an art that few possess. 

Here's how to excel in the non-verbal art of asking for help. How do you carry yourself? Folks are more inclined to lend a helping hand to someone doing everything to excel than one who uses lame excuses as crutches. 

Transformation

How do you transform a lack of support into tons of support? How do you turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones? As Hannibal famously stated: "You either find a way or make a way." 

When life throws challenges at you, you can either lie down and die, or you can find a way to breathe again. Maybe, just maybe, the lack of support is happening to show you how strong you are. Perhaps it is happening so that you can grow your wings and soar. 

Most times, the transformation hurts like hell because - sometimes, like a butterfly forming inside a dark cocoon - you do not know what on earth is happening. Plus, you do not know when the transformation will end. But, if you are to grow into the person you were created to be, this process must happen. Trust the process.

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Temperament

Feelings of anger, bitterness, or vengeance are not the way to go about it if your closest people have denied you support. Do not rage at people and the world for real or perceived wrongs. Do not lose your temper because, once that happens, you will lose the capability to reason and make sound judgments. 

If you live by the maxim that nobody owes you anything, you will not "carry people in your heart." If they don't support you, you're good. If they help you, well and good. Whatever happens, it's all good.

However, this does not mean you should not acknowledge how you feel. You can acknowledge the emotions and, at the same time, manage them so they will not be destructive or paint you as someone who is self-entitled. 

Managing your temperament will also come in handy when you have to dig deeper inside yourself for support while dealing with feelings of neglect and abandonment. 

Training

You must train yourself not to feel aggrieved when you lack support from people you believe should be down for you 110 percent. Get hold of your emotions. There is always the temptation to let people have it, to keep it real. But, many times, this attitude will work against you.  

Train yourself to speak words of encouragement to yourself when no one else will. And, while you're at it, train yourself to swallow that lump in your throat and speak well of the people who are denying you support. What you are doing is sowing seeds. If you sow grief, that's what you will reap. If you sow grace, then, trust me, you've got good tidings coming your way. 

Training also means having the discipline and determination to do whatever it legitimately takes, regardless of lack of support, to be your best and live your best life.

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